Letting go of hate after being wronged is never an easy pill to swallow, but guess what, YOU need it more than the opposing party!
It is natural to have a feeling of intense emotions, including anger and resentment after someone wronged you, or even disappointed you for failing to meet your specific needs. But, allowing these feelings to fester can lead to a cycle of negativity that harms your well-being and relationships.
So, here’s a guide on how to move beyond hatred and find healing:
Acknowledge Your Emotions
All emotions are important, take note of that! The first step in overcoming this feeling of hatred is to acknowledge it on your own without any judgment targeted to yourself or to the other party. It’s important to recognize that anger, hurt, and betrayal are valid responses to being wronged. Allow yourself to feel these emotions and understand that the “acknowledgment” is part of the healing process.
Take Time to Reflect on the Situation
Think about what happened and try to understand the context of everything, from the wrongdoings to the motivations behind it. And no, it doesn’t mean that you are actually excusing the behavior of the other party, you just have to gain some perspective to help you process your feelings and prevent it from overwhelming your thoughts! But, while reflection is great, excessive contemplation can keep you trapped in a cycle of anger and resentment as well, so allocate specific times to think about the situation, and then distract yourself with things that’ll make you feel better. This is when you must practice mindfulness.
Focus on Self-Care
It takes two to tango; if you got into the situation, then there must be an action that you took which may have caused it to rapture, too. But, guess what, the only one you can control is YOURSELF! So, invest in activities that promote your well-being and happiness such as exercising, getting into new hobbies, and spending time with supportive people can help shift your focus away from the negative experience..
Seek to Understand, Not to Condemn
Hate the sin, love the sinner, right? Well, if you’re not religious, then just for your own sake and mentality, try to understand the other person’s perspective without condoning their actions. That person may have acted out a certain way out of their own pain or ignorance, and understanding this can greatly help reduce the power of their actions over your emotions.
Seek Professional Help
In today’s generation, there are tons of therapy opportunities. So, when you need to have that emotional weight lifted or let go, then seek help; not from your friends nor family, but from a professional. Therapy can offer a safe space.
Practice Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a personal choice and doesn’t necessarily mean reconciling with the person who wronged you. It’s about freeing yourself from the burden of hatred. Let it be a gradual process, and it’s okay to take it one step at a time.
Avoid Associating
Last but not the least, avoid associating and categorizing in terms of hating an entire group just because you were wronged by one. Again, this is where the “hate the sin, love the sinner” quote comes in. Aside from breaking bonds and networks, it can also harm you mentally.
Remember, the path to moving beyond hate is not about forgetting or excusing but about reclaiming your peace and happiness. So, Sugboanons, DO IT FOR YOU; not for anyone else, but you!
