Nagmeet-up, nangaon, nag-trauma dumping… but, what is “trauma dumping?”
The term “trauma dumping” may be relatively new, but the concept has existed alongside psychology itself. It describes the act of sharing one’s trauma and struggles with someone else without their consent or acceptance to talk about it. Essentially, it involves offloading personal issues onto another person, leaving them no choice in the matter.
Is Trauma Dumping a Red Flag?
Short answer? YES! Trauma dumping is a gigantic red flag, even among friends. Everyone faces their own challenges, and while some may handle your emotional load, it’s unfair to impose your struggles on others without considering their circumstances. Venting differs from trauma dumping; the latter disregards the emotional capacity of the listener.
Some of the effects of trauma dumping in relationships include:
- Emotional Exhaustion – The friend you confide in might eventually feel drained by the weight of your emotional struggles. Ironically, you might also feel exhausted by the constant need for validation, creating a cycle of emotional fatigue for both parties.
- Desensitization – Just as customer service reps can become numb to harsh words over time, friends who repeatedly hear trauma stories may lose their empathy and understanding. What once felt significant may start to feel routine and less impactful.
- Fear of Sharing – Your friend might hesitate to share their own feelings for fear of adding to your emotional load. This can lead to feelings of isolation and create a one-sided dynamic in the relationship.
How to Build and Support Relationships Without Trauma Dumping
Finding a balance between being vulnerable and respecting boundaries is essential. So, before getting into heavy topics, ask your friend genuinely if it is the right time to talk about it and if your person is in the right space to listen. Then, when it’s a go, opt to practice active listening and offer a time to share mutually for you to both express your feelings without overwhelming each other.
Above all, when everything in your life just seems to tumble and spiral, seek professional help! Even therapists themselves have their own therapists or counselors to provide support without putting strains on their personal relationships.
So, Sugboanons, quit the habit of trauma dumping; it is selfish, inconsiderate, and can do more harm than good in your relationships.
